A Rush and A Push

I ordered the 2011 Poet's Market today. Related: I also pulled out my texts from college regarding finding the courage to share these groups of words which we present as writers to expose ideas we've found inside ourselves to the cruelty and criticisms of others.

Eek.

Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird arrived Saturday and it sits in a stack of newly acquired non-fiction books and articles on the subjects which lie beyond composition. This stack is becoming a mountain and I am scrambling, voracious to read all of these things.

How people ever find time to write and publish with all the reading that is to be done on the subject, I may never know.

Which is to say: yes, I have lots to learn and lots of research to do, and yes, I have to remember to write something which is publishable. The cycle is not a great mix with excitement. I feel like I should be panting.

How does that quote go about genius/insanity and perspiration/inspiration? "Insanity is perspiring over 10% inspiration and expecting 90% results?"*

(*Yes, I know I'm skewing this terribly. I still mean it this way.)

Inspiration is flooding in at the moment and I'm letting that mean I'm overcoming a fear of the business side: submissions and heaven-help-me having my work read. Pushing myself to promote this blog makes me feel like I'm getting through that latter stumbling block. (Thank you, reader.)

It's giving me a charge. No longer do I tell myself "I can do this"; now I hear "I am doing this."

It's as though I have no choice in the matter. I hope I'm right.

...eek.